Remembering Mr. RS

Mr. RS made me stronger in here.
He was and still is my mentor.

Everytime i am lazy, i remember his last words before I came here.
He said, "Things will be though there, and you have to work hard. Judging from your work here, I don't think the energy that you have put in here will make you survive there."
So everytime i don't want to open my books because i have re-read all my materials for the third time, I will re-read it until i know all the cases by heart, just to make sure that i am not being a lazy bum.

During the period when he was my dear boss, he told me that I don't even have the capability to read Wall Street Journal or Financial Times. Well guess what, dear Mr. RS? now I am not only reading those papers, but i am examining them. Analyzing each article every day. I am even writing a scientific journal based on those articles.

Mr. RS told me that I would only have the ability to read Wall Street Journal and Financial Times, after 3 years of working for him. Of course, if i was still working with you. Because I have to find out by myself, and with all my compulsory billable hours, how am i supposed to do that? And in 1 months, with the assistance of 2 men with 30 years of experience in finance- Yes, i can read it. I can understand it. I can do it, Mr. RS. Faster than you have predicted. Why? Because I am doing it my way.

Mr. RS told me that he is going to make me take the Basic Accounting courses. After 9 months of waiting, I wasn't even listed for the course. He was always comparing me with DK, the prominent woman in finance that he molded. I might still not be good enough compared to DK. But i proved to myself, that I don't have to wait on your promise to learn about accounting. In my first week here, Mr. RS, I learned finance and accounting for lawyers. Straight from the person who wrote the book of finance and accounting for lawyer. The very same person who got summa cum-laude from both Harvard Law School, Harvard Business School and Princeton.
Now, not only do I know Basic Accounting- I mastered the strategy of finance, accounting and law for each financial institution, you name it Mr. RS, insurance company, bank, corporation, or investment company. I CAN READ THE WHOLE CONSOLIDATED FINANCIAL REPORT, and make a better strategy for them.

Oh yeah, Mr. RS once mocked me for not knowing what Sarbanes Oxley is. Well Mr. RS, now I know it. I know it by heart. I know the history. I know what's its' impact on how US company is doing its business in our country.

Mr. RS never gave me credits. I know what he said when my friends were so happy that I got accepted in here. Mr. RS said, "Oh come on, it's not that hard to get to Harvard." Then tell me why you didn't go here, if it ain't that hard?

But oh, did I have my share of fun when I told him that I am not taking Human Rights program. In a very slight moment, I can see that element of surprise in his eyes. I murmured, "oh, i haven't told you this, but i am taking the International Finance concentration." BINGOOO!!! He was puzzled. Only for a second though. His vanity comes to the rescue then. "I didn't know that you can do that", he said. "Oh yes, I can", I told him.

Hahahahaha. Earlier that year, when our relationship were still sweet, instead of bitter sweet-during a flight he told me that the gateway to be a prominent lawyer is to excell in finance. I did exactly what he said. But not his way. I did it my way.Hahaha.

Mr. RS opposed consistently with my idea to take a master degree this year. He told me I would need another 4 years of experience. I rebelled. He told me that I would have difficulty. I am too much of a snob to admit that it is damn hard to understand financial stuff without experience, but hey I managed. One and a half year of experience is enough Mr. RS. Thinking about it now, I think the amount of knowledge that I get 1 month in here is equal to my knowledge during 6 months of working with you. Fair share and fair deal. Of course the difference is that I pay to be educated in here, while on the other situation, you pay me to be educated.

Mr. RS told me that I was working for a dracula. That my money comes from blood sucking money. That parts of my money comes from corruption.
Well, I tell you what Mr. RS. Is it not corruption for not paying the real individual and corporation tax? Tell me, because I saw your tax report, haha. Tell me is it not corruption to hand the corrupted job to another lawyer because you want your hands to be clean?

You aint nothing better than my boss that you called a "dracula". At least dracula is honest. Dracula keeps his promises to me. Dracula treated me with respect. Dracula is humble. Dracula is not self pretentious. Above all else, I am proud to have worked with dracula- because I DEFENDED MY MINORITY NATIONALS. I do not defend the big blood sucking companies. I feel a sense of purpose in doing what i did with him. And most of all, dracula believed in my capability and gave me a sense of self esteem and pride.

But Mr. RS, after all you put me through, you think i would despise you? But I want to thank you, Mr. RS.
As christina aguilera would put it:

1. Thank you for making me stronger
2. Thank you for making me work harder
3. Thank you for making my skin thicker
4. Thank you for making me study faster
5. Thank you for making me wiser
6. Thank you for making me smarter
   
7. Thank you for making me a fighter
   

Oh Mr. RS, I hope the bridge is not burned yet between us. I kinda miss you here.

On Dating A Military: A Cultural Approach

It makes sense for a military not wanting to have a serious relationship, or even a relationship at all. With the possibility of deployment and transfer at any time, one would render it impossible to fully commit-only with the possibility to end it at any given moment. Vulnerable to emotional attachment and openly accesible to the option of long distance relationship, one would rather choose not to have any relationship at all. On the other side, you learn to have friends for life. That is why they prefer to have friends with benefit.

A lot of infidelity cases in military also makes it harder to have a relationship. The peer pressure is high, and added to the above mentioned reasoning-the probability of not having a relationship becomes higher.

The military teaches you to be independent and self-sufficient. Albeit the team work, you learn not to easily trust and open yourself to other person. You detach yourself from attachment, be it physical or emotional, both for reason of dependency and fear to be vulnerable.

Military teaches you to be practical and flexible-with the possibility of changes at any time, they would only make short-term plan, although a long-term plan is feasible in their mind. A short term plan would usually not include a relationship. Practicality does not include drama and talks about relationship. Practicality does not include long term relationship and the fuss of writing or calling people. In the world where a relationship demands equal affection and devotion, this just wouldn't seem to work out.

Being in a military which is male dominated, a patriarchal view of life is also formed. Some view that a proper women is a devoted house wife. In rare cases can one find a military marry a career woman. Why? Because it will be hard for the woman to keep up her career with all the transfer and the problem with settling in is already hard enough to deal with- not to mention if you have kids.

In the world of secrecy that is identical to military, one learns not to talk much. And how would one begin to have feeling if one does not open up. The culture of not to talk to much makes it difficult to open up and engage in a communication-which leads to a difficulty of having a relationship.

There are also some military who views marriage (not relationship) as a salvation- and rush themselves to marriage. Why? Because only if you are married should the option of being transferred with your wife occurs. On the contrary, a marriage based on a rushed consideration is a weak marriage. Again, marriage starts with relationship- so you have two options, not to have a relationship at all-or have a relationship with a view to get married.

Once one enters the military, there is a shift in the type of women. With the view of military as protector and savior, one would not want a dominant woman to have a relationship with. But, then again, she has to be strong and dependent enough to be left alone. The line between dependency and dominancy is bleak and weak. In general, for every man there are 2 types of women: girlfriend material and wife material. It is way easier to find a girlfriend material, because to find a wife material needs the test of devotion, attention and time. This quite hard material to find becomes even harder if one's identity as a military is being added.

Added together, this would create a military man that does not commit enough time, devotion and affection. With the notion of equality in a relationship, even with the military cultural background, would one be strong enough to face all of the above mentioned attributes is the question.