A letter from Europe

Hey Sweetheart,

So finally i'm sending something, been postponing it agin, writing ten different letters, trying to figure out the feelings, trying to control it like I've been doing for a long time already...U see I've been so insecure when dealing with all these emotions that I thought I'd better not tell all those insecurities, that it might make me look weak, that I might get hurt.

...


But the thing is I really get annoyed by myself, filling in the gaps in my mind, trying to reasons my emotions away...But the thing is I still love you so goddamned much, and I have never known what your point of view has been about this...U never said anything, we never really tallked about this...I had no need, I had you as a mental projection, I projected all my fear on this feeling for you and I've been through a lot emotionally...But I guess I needed that to become a man, to realize what my fears were.

But now I realize that I'll always love you, guess it'll fade away once/ If i fall in love again, but I need to get clarity from your side...Just tell me what you felt for me, did u feel anything, or in MTV linguistics, 'did u just play me'?
It's all good if you did,

...

But please tell me your feelings, I need to know this before I can move on...
Why did you give me the address of your blog, do you trust me in such a level, are you referring to me, or is that just a wish from my side, am I reading what I want to read...? So many questions I always asked myself, while I should have asked them to you.

I always wondered what real fear for love was... Was it that I am afraid to dissapoint, or am I afraid to be dissapointed again? But both options are irrelevant fears if reasons blocks both, if love is neglected, I could only hurt myself.

So please tell me straight forward what u felt, don't be afraid to hurt me if u didn't feel anything, I'll open my heart to you and will bear my chest forward, it's in your hand, please squezze it or stroke it, but please tell me...

...






Dear Sir,

In reply to your letter, please give me a moment to contemplate. I shall post my reply soon. I hope you don't mind me posting this letter, as the blog is as much a part of my life as your letter is. Not to mention the fact that my blog have made an impact to your life- as witnessed in your letter. Should you feel that I should not post this letter of yours, feel free to write to me and I will erase it. Anonimity is presumed, since I do not give this blog address to too many people that I know of.


p.s. Nothing, precisely nothing is more beautiful than honesty. Thank you for your honesty.

Yours faithfully,

Sacred Infatuation